Do you remember when!

Just old pictures I discovered.

Car Across Cochise: Lordsburg

Lunch at the Kranberry Café: actually quite good.

And across the street,

Needless to say, we stocked up. You never know how many shells you’ll need in a year. But just a word of caution: the cruise missiles and the nuclear weapons are way over priced.

Forewarned is forearmed. Shop carefully.

Car Across Cochise: Willcox

Willcox, Arizona is very proud of its native son, Rex Allen. Frankly, I had never heard of him before. Karla claims she didn’t know who he was either.

But Willcox is also the home of somebody else. I don’t remember his name right now, but Karla was pretty sure he sang the song “El Paso”. So of course, we broke into song, “Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, la da la da la da la da”.

We were asked to leave town.

Car Across Cochise: Chiricahua National Monument

Not all of our time was spent pursuing dimwitted destinations.

Chiricahua National Monument is absolutely beautiful.

A recent fire left eerie visions, which I photographed poorly!

Car Across Cochise: Tombstone

We all know the story: OK Corral; Earps, Clantons, some other people; bang-bang; dead.

But in Tombstone, it lives on. ‘The town too tough to die’ repeats the story over and over, dozens of times a day, seven days a week.

Karla and I had fully intended to stay sober until noon that day (it was Sunday, after all), but my über-sensitive sister was becoming visibly rattled by the dead and dying littering the dusty streets.

I thought it important that we duck inside the nearest saloon and wet our whistles.

And after that we did a lot of things that were really neat.

Or at least that is what Karla tells me.

There would have been pictures, but my camera was acting weird that day.

Car Across Cochise: Felicity

As we zipped eastbound along I-8 in southern California, nearing the Colorado River, we noticed a blazingly white church on an obviously man-made hill.

Guess what? We took the next exit and explored!

Felicity, California’s population is zero. At least that is according to the latest census data.

 

With that said, it should be noted that there are more ‘Arm of God Sundials’ (à la Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel) per capita in Felicity than on any other place on earth. (I would say ‘in the universe’, but apparently there is a replica or two on Alpha Centauri and the counterclaims are getting litigious. I want nothing to do with that little brouhaha.)

There is also a sweet little section of decayed stairway from the Eiffel Tower. (Note to self: next time you visit the Tour Eiffel, take the elevator instead of sprinting up the stairs without a prior, independent inspection.)

But the coup de grace is this cute little pyramid, which I neglected to take a picture of. And inside the cute little pyramid is the Center of the World. Hey, the Board of Directors of Imperial County, California said so. I’m not going to question their authority.

 

And yes, I have been certified!

Car Across Cochise: Bombay Beach

Early in our adventure, Karla and I found an amazing place to retire: Bombay Beach, California.

Located on the shores of the Salton Sea, there is an amazing amounts of sunshine, near zero chance of snow and… and… give me a moment here.

I thought that would be enough to sell Richard, but I was wrong.

Oh, come on. Fresh coat of paint and new curtains in the kitchen and this place would be cute as a button.

You people, you lack the vision to see the possibilities!

I must give credit where it is due.

My round trip flight from Portland to Ontario was amazing. Both left on time and arrived at their destinations ahead of time. If you ignore that sad little incident where the poor, almost-old-man was sitting on the floor at the security check station, madly throwing things out of his back pack while every TSA agent at PDX was searching for the driver’s license that he had somehow misplaced in about ten feet, it would have been a perfect round trip event.

Don’t ask the ugly details. There is a reason they say you should be there early.

The flight back was due to arrive at 12:04PM. It landed, I went to the little boy’s room and then straight to baggage claim, where my luggage was patiently waiting. I then stepped outside onto a Blue Economy Lot bus that promptly closed its doors. I got off at the first stop. When the car started (The Hallelujah Chorus is now being sung in the background, but that is a whole other story), the clock read 12:04. It was amazing.

I’m not sure who to credit. I bought the tickets at Travelocity, where they claimed it was a Delta flight. My boarding pass was issued by Alaska Airlines, which is where I checked in at both airports, but the flight was really a Sky West Airlines flight. It is so confusing, but they are so good, they even made I-205 and I-84 almost empty for me.

Thank you, you quadron of quality!

Just a thought.

If anyone reading this blog is contemplating adoption, there is no need to go to eastern Europe or a third world country. Many, many highways in Cochise County, Arizona are desperately seeking caring parents. Just throwing it out there.

Happy Earth Day!

Go hug a tree!

American Bandstand

Has lost its leader!

Oh, and if you're too flipping young to remember American Bandstand, then I feel bad for you!

The NFL has denied the New Orleans Saints appeal of the bounty program.

Many of you know I am a big fan of college football. (GO DUCKS!!!) But I really don’t pay any attention to the National Football League. I’ve always accredit my reluctance to cheer for the NFL on their salaries. But there is more. For you who haven’t been reading the news, players of the New Orleans Saints received a bonus of up to $10,000.00 to hurt someone from the other company (and don’t believe they aren’t businesses out to make a profit). Seems like something from Rollerball.

As of 2007, the minimum wage in the NFL (for players) was $285,000.00. Now I know some of you are shedding tears for those poor, poor people, but trust me, you can survive on less. I also am aware that the shelf life of a professional football player is less than a Twinkie, but just because you are retired from football (or took a blow to the knee that put you out) doesn’t mean that you can’t sit at a desk for 8 hours a day and push paper back and forth in a desperate attempt to make it look like you have done some work.

Oh, and if anyone I work with reads this, I am just speaking in a theoretical format.

I’m really not sure, but if my boss gave me a bonus (and I guarantee it wouldn’t be $10,000.00) to injure the sales director from the Benson Hotel in Portland, I’m guessing we would both end up in jail. (My boss and I; I’m pretty sure Leslie would just be sitting on her settee and gathering huge cash settlements.) Of course, I wouldn’t cross-body tackle her; you’d be surprised how rare cross-body tackles are in my profession. My attack would include a mud puddle or hairspray or some other totally devious device.

I’m sorry, but you accepted a bonus for intentionally hurting the Vice-President of the competing bank and guess what? You go to jail. You don’t pass go and you don’t collect $200.00.

But they get away with it in the NFL?

It’s time we all lost interest in the felons.

Happy Easter

With thanks to B. Kliban

Interesting note: fingernails are compostable.

I didn’t believe it either, but I’ve been composting my clippings for 3 years now, and I have yet to find a fingernail in my garden.

Just a tip from a Master Recycler!

Holy Pocatello, another destination sib trip.

The Museum of Clean in Pocatello, Idaho. Wow, how amazing does it get!

Cut this out of the paper about 1.5 months ago.

Let it be known, Richard did not give me a can of nuts for Valentine's Day. He is too kind and proper.

New studies support claim that 'sugar is toxic'

I stole the headline from FOXNEWS.

Is nothing sacred? As the old one liner goes, “Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or kills rats in test situations.”

Do you understand the implications? Sugar is evil? We aren’t talking some theoretic substance. We are talking fudge and Johnny sauce and divinity and cakes and pies and all things I’ve ever deemed good and right on this planet earth. I am crushed.

Join me in the kitchen to share in a bowl of refined white sugar.

This is a test.

This is only a test. If this were a real posting to my blog, it would be incredibly witty and socially piercing. It would be totally dynamic. It would rock the globe.

But this is only a test. So don’t bother taking notes.

And a hearty Happy April Fools Day to you!

Ain’t it just wonderful that spring is here? And don’t those icy-thingies falling from the sky add a festive atmosphere? And those dark, belligerent clouds and the bitter, frigid wind, don’t they convey a convivial spirit of the times?

Pardon my French, but Horsepuckies!

I want real spring, something more than just a date on a calendar, and I want it now!

Oh, I get it, the weather... it's a joke!

It ain't funny!