Auntie Bea's irises are just opening their show!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Unidentified Flying Object.
This is so weird; you aren’t going to believe it.
Yesterday started as usual. At 6:00AM, Ralph jumped up on the bed and gave me a quick, wet lick across the face, as if to say, “Come on, sleepy head. What you wanna do today?”
“Please, Ralph. I just want to sleep another hour. I was up past midnight last night. Please, just one more hour.”
“No can do, mister. You’ve got to get up, now.”
Sadly, he was right. I had to pee like a race horse. I stumbled to the bathroom, relieved myself and stumbled back to bed. Ralph had insinuated himself into my spot, his head resting on the pillow as he snored away. Sigh. I trotted out to the kitchen (“trotted” my ass, I lurched) to make coffee. I couldn’t help but notice the sky out the door. It had this strange azure cast to it. It was totally bizarre.
Well, a few minutes later, after Ralph and Trixie had decided it was time to go out and I was trying to sip down my first jolts of caffeine, the dogs started barking like there was no tomorrow. So I reeled to the back door, threw it open and stepped out on the porch with them.
Oh My God! There it was: this huge yellow ball in the eastern sky. It was so bright it hurt to stare at it. At first it terrified me. I trembled in my little booties. But then, out of nowhere, I began to feel this amazing warmth. It gave a pleasure I can barely imagine, much less describe. It was totally awesome. I broke into the Hallelujah Chorus.
I hope it returns someday.
Yesterday started as usual. At 6:00AM, Ralph jumped up on the bed and gave me a quick, wet lick across the face, as if to say, “Come on, sleepy head. What you wanna do today?”
“Please, Ralph. I just want to sleep another hour. I was up past midnight last night. Please, just one more hour.”
“No can do, mister. You’ve got to get up, now.”
Sadly, he was right. I had to pee like a race horse. I stumbled to the bathroom, relieved myself and stumbled back to bed. Ralph had insinuated himself into my spot, his head resting on the pillow as he snored away. Sigh. I trotted out to the kitchen (“trotted” my ass, I lurched) to make coffee. I couldn’t help but notice the sky out the door. It had this strange azure cast to it. It was totally bizarre.
Well, a few minutes later, after Ralph and Trixie had decided it was time to go out and I was trying to sip down my first jolts of caffeine, the dogs started barking like there was no tomorrow. So I reeled to the back door, threw it open and stepped out on the porch with them.
Oh My God! There it was: this huge yellow ball in the eastern sky. It was so bright it hurt to stare at it. At first it terrified me. I trembled in my little booties. But then, out of nowhere, I began to feel this amazing warmth. It gave a pleasure I can barely imagine, much less describe. It was totally awesome. I broke into the Hallelujah Chorus.
I hope it returns someday.
Friday, June 4, 2010
NEWS FLASH!
Today is National Donut Day! Drop whatever you are doing and run to the nearest donut shop! Do it for the good of humanity! Do it because it is the right and just thing to do!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
My Notes on the Golden Girls
I admit that I watched the Golden Girls with some regularity back in the day. I enjoyed the humor. Damn, old people can be funny.
Estelle, Betty, Bea and Rue made the show work. The program was witty and timely. Maybe even ahead of its time. It may have been the first prime time network show with a gay character (who lasted for about two episodes. But they tried.)
And Blanche Devereaux, every gay man’s role model! Damn, there is hope after retirement.
I admit I have seen reruns lately. The show isn’t as ahead of the times as it was. In fact, it is dated. The humor isn’t quite as witty as it was in the ‘80s.
But the Golden Girls reaffirmed a basic tenet for me. Life ends when you lose the ability to laugh.
To Estelle, Bea and Rue; you were the best. To Betty; you go girl! Keep us laughing!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Kennessee
On June 1 in 1792 and 1796 respectively, Kentucky and Tennessee became the 14th and 15th state to be admitted to the Union. I have been to both Kentucky and Tennessee and therefore, in my mind, I am an expert on the subject(s). I would like to share some valuable information with you.
On paper, they pretty much look the same. They are both short and wide, or in Politically Correct phraseology, height challenged. Neither should wear horizontal stripes. It would be a major fashion faux pas. Kentucky’s capital is Frankfort, while Tennessee’s capitol is Nashville. Nine letters in both of the cities names. Kentucky’s nickname is ‘The Bluegrass State’. Tennessee’s nickname is ‘The Volunteer State’. Seventeen letters in both of the state’s nicknames. I’m sure you’re seeing the eerie common denominators. Not to freak you out, but they both have a state bird.
I hear you, I hear you. They are one state. Let’s just call them Tenntucky and be done with it.
You are sadly mistaken.
These two states couldn’t be more different if they tried.
Kentucky’s iconic city is Louisville; Tennessee’s is Memphis. No similarity. Kentucky has a county named McCracken. No county by that great name in Tennessee. Kentucky’s name makes sense when you realize the state was branded after Barbie’s boyfriend, Ken Tucker. Tennessee’s name makes no sense at all. Tennessee Williams: Kentucky Hmm Can’t Think of No One. The list goes on and on.
And what would we do with the extra star on the flag?
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