Happy Donald Duck Day!

80 years ago today, Donald Duck made his debut in a bit part in The Wise Little Hen.  The rest is history.

Oh, did I mention that Max, who is such a good cat, protected the house last night from a herd of vicious vermin? I wasn’t awake for it, but that is what Max said when he woke me up at 3AM. He is one amazing cat.

Howdy, folks

Just stopped by to let you know what a good cat Max was last night. There was no blood shed and no police reports to fill out.

Yes, he is a good cat!

Tom and I had a good chat last night.

He sat on my lap and purred like good cats do, and for some odd reason Max didn’t attack.

I told Tom there was a chance I would have to be away from him for a while, but that he shouldn’t worry, because I’ll make sure he is well taken care of.

“Mac, you silly human, I read your blog and your medical chart. You have no secrets from me.” He purred sweetly and butted my chin, nearly knocking me out. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. I’m such a lovable cat that you’ll have people begging you to let them take care of me. It’s Max I worry about. Who in their right mind would want to come take care of that dastardly cat?”

I really hadn’t thought about that side of the equation.

But fortunately, Tom had a plan. We’ll be implementing it soon.

Just a favorite memory.

Richard and I are at the train station in Nîmes. It is my job to buy tickets for the train to Le Grau-du-Roi, a small town on the Mediterranean (Le Mer Méditeranée).

I practiced hard, finally met the ticket agent. “Bon jour, Madame. Il faut que j’achête deux billet pour le train au Le Grau-du-Roi.”

She looked at me dumbfounded. “Je ne comprend pas.”

I was cress fallen, my best French had been spent on deaf ears.

I slowly rephrased the request. “Deux billet pour Le Grau-du-Roi, s’il vous plait.”

She responded, “I understood you the first time, I just have no idea where you want to go!”

Apparently, I don’t pronounce “Le Grau-du-Roi” well.

Richard and I both fell in love with Le Grau-du-Roi. We spoke of retiring there, or in Nîmes.

Le sud de France est magnifique!

Back from my visit to the doctor.

First, I must say that I have the most amazing primary care physician. Anyone looking for a caring, intelligent doctor who is capable of translating medicalese into English should see her. Between Dr. Beth Foster and Clara DeLeon, PA-C, I am well cared for locally; amazing women who know their stuff.

And a Pancoast tumor is more geographic than anything else, so yes I have a Pancoast tumor, but it matters more what kind of cancer it is for the treatment. But as in real estate, location is important. Anyway, I’m done self-diagnosing.

The mass is larger than I first reported. It is 3.7 x 4.6 x 4.4 cm. But what is a centimeter among friends?

And there are a couple of odd nodules in both my right and left lung that may or may not be an issue. There is also a nodule on my left adrenal gland. Could be something, may not be anything…

I will visit with Dr. Daniel, who was Richard’s thoracic surgeon next Tuesday. Until then, it is wait and wait some more.

Fasten your seatbelts, it’s gonna be a rocky ride!

"large right apical lung mass, susp for malignancy"

I’m not sure it’s such a good thing that I can just cut and paste from my medical records online.

But I can, and I do.

Although some may question the wisdom, I can also diagnose my condition online.

And between bouts of wallowing in self pity and beating myself up for being such a dumbfuck, (trust me, it ain’t pretty in my head right now) I have spent much time self-diagnosing online.

My money is on a Pancoast tumor. Okay, I’m not betting the farm, but it seems pretty right:

"Although a Pancoast tumor is a lung tumor, it rarely causes symptoms that are typically related to the lungs (eg, cough, chest pain).

The initial symptom is pain in the shoulder, inner part of the scapula (large, triangular, flattened bone that lies over the ribs on the back), or both.

The pain may later extend to the inner side of the arm, elbow and the pinky and ring fingers.

The associated pain is severe and constant, often requiring narcotic pain medications for relief." 

Okay, I won’t say I don’t have a cough, but it really is minimal compared to my cough of a couple of years ago, and I have no chest pain. 

It all started with pain in the back and elbow (but I do have some extenuating conditions in my elbow), then the numbness in my hand, mimicking carpal tunnel.

And yes, I scored big with some narcotic pain pills. I’m not going to take one until after my 2:30 doctor’s appointment. I’d kind of like to be there for that appointment. 

I have lost another level of virginity.

I will never again have my first CT scan. 

I’ve been deflowered but a huge donut in the lower level of Providence Hood River Memorial Hospital. Oh, and trust me, after a horrid four hour fast spanning some of my prime grazing times, the donut shape was noted. It was noted with a great amount of interest. However, it is not true that I tried to take a bite out of it. Where do rumors like that get started?

I know nothing now that I didn’t know this morning. That isn’t true. I know why they took the “A” out of a CAT scan. But I am sworn to secrecy. I don’t want to get my CT scan artist in trouble with the authorities. Apparently information like that is on a need to know basis. Just remember, that is another tidbit of information that I know and you don’t. But I will never hold it over your head.

The CT scan was quick and moderately interesting, but truthfully, I would have rather been at Gulfoss. Or a few thousand other places besides the lower level of PHRMH. My CT scan artist was great. She was the first medical practitioner I’d spoken to in a week that didn’t give off airs of pending death. She even let me see my CT scan, which is probably against the rules, but it gave me hope. I didn’t see any huge masses. I also have no clue what I was looking at. But, I feel oddly buoyed.