Sleeping with Saints

Friday, June 23, 2017

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Many of you have been asking me many significant questions about gardening. While they are all earnest and heartwarming, I know the real answer to few, I manage to come up with reasonable facsimiles, that if you have never seen planet Earth before, you might actually believe.

Take a recent question and my precise answer.

Dear Gardening Guru, Sir,

How do I tell a weed from a plant that I sowed from seed. I am confused.
With warm regards,

A Real Loser in the Garden

Dear Loser in the Garden,

There are three ways to tell a weed from a wanted plant.

#1. If it collapses in the lightest evening breeze, despite being only 1.5” tall and it is protected by a berm, it is a desired plant.
If it can withstand hurricane winds for days on end without even losing a leaf, it is a weed!

#2. If the slightest disruption of its roots system, say running a hand rake within four inches of the 1.5” plant, causes it to die instantly, it is one of your most prized plants.
If leaving 4 molecules of root in the ground after digging the plant out causes it to shoot out 24, two foot plants by morning, it’s a weed, but learn to love it, cause it ain’t going away.

#3. If a deer in the yard walk past the plant and covers his nose in disgust, it is just another weed.
If there is a queue of deer lined up around the house and up into the woods waiting for a chance to nibble on the plant, it is a good plant, one you would dearly love if it weren’t for the deer!
(Did you catch my play on words!)

Whatever,

The Gardening Guru

I await your questions!

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

The longest day of the year!

Don't let it ever end!

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

It has got to end!

The shooting of the Republican baseball team at practice, the shooting at the UPS facility in San Francisco, the attacks in Great Britain... the never ending violence must end.

People in authority must call for an immediate end... all sides must agree! There is no call, no driving reason to hurt one another. I know I sound like an old, almost hippie, but I am. Every side is to blame, innocent blood is on each of us. It is time for us all to speak out, to be heard, to do little things.

If you see something, no matter how funny or poignant, that somehow alludes to violence, ignore it.

DO NOT PASS IT ON!!!

It is time, we the ordinary people called hate-mongering, hate-mongering. None of us is innocent!