Ten signs you have lived too long with Saint Bernards:

#1. You find it perfectly acceptable to go out in public wearing pants with a huge dog-slopper mark on the front of the left leg. Deep down, you think you did pretty good getting out of the house that clean.

#2. You can look at a lumbering 20# cat and honestly think he looks tiny.

#3. You can no longer see out the French doors because of the drool and caked mud, and it doesn’t bother you at all.

#4. You can say from experience that it is not a good idea to train your cute, little puppy to high five. It takes a whole new meaning at 200#.

#5. You seldom refer to April as springtime. The term “mud-season” seems more appropriate.

#6. You’re never sure if you’re putting on a T shirt or a short sleeved sweater and you don’t really care.

#7. You make a phone call, and the party on the other end can’t understand what you’re saying because of the loud rumbling noise in the background on your end of the phone. You have to apologize, because you hadn’t noticed the dogs were asleep until he mentioned it.

#8. You consider the drifts of fur in the living room as something of a badge of courage.

#9. Your ideas for landscaping the backyard are always predicated on plantings going into the holes the dogs have already dug.

#10. When you retreat to your happy spot, there is always a big, sweet dog laying next to you with his/her head on your lap.