Ripped from the New York Times:

There it was, in black and white: roadside attractions like the Corn Palace, the World’s Largest Ball of Twine and the Boll Weevil Monument are in crisis. As preposterous as this may sound, apparently vacationers no longer see a trip to the Geographical Center of the United States as a ‘hot-damn’ holiday. It seems that now days, they want adventure: mountain biking, hiking, rock-wall climbing.

Puh-leeze! The last time I tried climbing a rock-wall was that unfortunate September night when I tried to escape for the state penitentiary in Arizona. And you all know how far that got me. And I’ve never described that period of my life as a ‘vacation’. But now that I think of it, I do remember the social calendar quite fondly. There was that one sultry evening, when the sun was setting and the red glow flooded my cell through the barred window. My cellmate, Scotty the Body was lamenting…
Oh my god, that is so not appropriate for the blog. I am so sorry. Excuse me please.

Now, as I was saying, we all must do what we can to save the quirky wayside tourist traps.

Let us all make a resolution for 2011:

If I can’t get there in a limousine with a full service bar, I won’t go there.