At home on the Wildlife Safari.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wonder what life would be like if we had no pets.

Max is celebrating Abuse-Your-Theoretical-Owner Day. For those of you that aren’t as immersed in the Second-Cousin-Once-Removed Community as I am, every fifth or sixth day, the Must-Be-Part-Siamese-Cat-Subgroup sponsors the Abuse-Your-Theoretical-Owner Day. It is ugly. I hear the lower cupboard door open in the kitchen. Max screams out, “Do you mind if I break open this bag of flour. It looks mighty vulnerable.”

I have to stumble in the kitchen, slam the door shut and say “Bad Cat! Bad Cat!” I go back to writing. I hear another lower cupboard door open. “Golly gee willikers,” Max exclaims as he searches for potential toys in the cabinet. Loud clanging is all I hear after that.

Needless to say, I toddle back into the kitchen, slam the door shut and say “Bad Cat! Bad Cat!” I go back to writing. I hear another lower cupboard door open. “Cheerios!!! Cheerios!!!,” Max screams.

I pull a tuft of hair out of my head. I stomp to the kitchen as Ralph, who is dealing with some mobility issues, decides he want to go out. He stumbles down to the door and starts to, well ralf. I open the door. He starts to go out, he pauses for a moment. Max darts out the door. Ralph finally goes out and totally ralfs all over the deck. I don’t blame Ralph. He was just an unfortunate instrument in the Second Cousin-Once Removed of the Devil’s plan.

I panicked. I tried to get Max back inside, leaving the door open for Spike to explore the out-of-doors. And well Trixie, the cat-herder extraordinaire that she is, had to barge outside.

And how was your evening?

(And no, I’m not truly certain who is inside and who is outside at this exact moment. I plan to do a body count soon! And "Yes", the Cheerios were a total loss.)

Wow

Maybe this is the call for the Asshole Song!

A song from years ago!

There is suppose to be a picture above here so you know what you are clicking on... but technology has passed me by... once again.) Just do it!

Oops, my bad! Just figured it out. Just click on the arrow.

Don't tell me you don't know who you are dedicating this song to!

Silver Anniversary

On May 15, 1987, an old, battered Volkswagen Bug pulled off Interstate 84 at exit #62. The extremely intelligent and ridiculously handsome 30 year old man inside the Bug was starting the next adventure in his tumultuous life. (Hey, I’m telling the story, don’t argue with the adjectives.)

The bucolic town of Hood River lay in front of the man.

Flash forward 25 years.

Never mind, let’s live in 1987 once again. I can be anything my warped memory can dredge up!

Just some memories I treasure.

(Don't you love the camera strap!)

Happy Mothers Day!

To My Sweet Big Sister!

The USPS refused your card!

Max is a bad cat! Bad Cat!

They're forecasting a beautiful day for the Upper Valley.

I'll let you know what it's like outside as soon as I scrape the ice off the windows!

Obviously my last post was très risqué.

I had no idea porn had dropped to this level.

(A friend sent me this graphic, I knew where it had to go.)