At first I thought of going silent.

But then I thought, maybe I have something to share. Maybe people will pay attention. For those of you a day late and a dollar short, on Wednesday, I went to the doctor. My right elbow hurt, my right hand was numb and I had a painful muscle in my back.

Diagnosis: arthritis in elbow, bone spur in elbow, carpal tunnel in right hand and abnormality on the right lung.

I’ve been here before… it doesn’t end pretty.

Okay, that was Richard… and I am a different person.

Okay, so I’ve abused my body for almost four decades. If I would have know I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself. No, I wouldn’t have. I am a hedonist.

No one: nurse, doctor, PA or X-ray tech is pretending it is anything but cancer. There is a slim chance somewhere, but I am not going to go Pollyanna.

I’m not done mourning Richard.

Sorry, not ready to move on to the next reality.

Brugge or Bruges

Depends upon if you are Flemish or French speaking.

Brugge is a historic city in the northwestern part of Belgium (België or Belgique, once again depending upon your native tongue, Flemish or French – I threw in the English version, too, just to avoid major confusion!) I chose to call the town "Brugge", as the majority of the residents are Flemish.

It was 2006. Where have the last eight years gone?

Oh, and Parker... if you don't get your ass home soon, dinner is gonna be ruined!!!

My earliest memory of a hit song

I remember it from Seattle... before we left in 1961.

Oregon's anti-gay marriage law thrown out by the courts.

It is a hallow victory.

A day late and a dollar short.

What a great idea!

I worked hard on a business plan, did charts and graphs and a power point presentation. I was totally ready to sell it to the cats.

They watched attentively.

When I was done, Max was the first to chime in. “If you think I gonna carry a tub-o-lard like you around a circus ring, you are and even dumber [expletive deleted] than I thought you were. [Expletive deleted] you, bozo.” Max kept up his harangue for much, much longer, but I tuned him out. I’ve been chewed out by the cat more than once. I’ve learned how to ignore him.

Tom was more succinct. “Mac, you would look horrible in fish net stockings.”

Proposal: dead.

Max is sitting on my lap.

He is purring just like good cats do

A few minutes ago, Tom was sitting on my lap, purring like good cats do.

Then, Max attacked. Tom still has hind claws. Max has claws on all of his extremities. You understand: I feared that my sex life was over.

My sex life may be over, but not because of this incident. 

The scar will be on my thigh.

Happy Cinco De Mayo

Join me in Margaritaville!

May Day, May Day

A beautiful day in the upper valley... 75 degrees, calm and sunny.

It should have been a great day. But...

First Patty, a friend and long time customer meets me in the lobby... she gives me a big bear hug and starts to cry. "I heard about your loss... I'm so sorry."

I always hate it when I fall apart in the lobby, but I did.

Then later Peter, Mary's husband takes me aside to tell me how wonderful Richard's memorial was at the Center for the Arts, and how much it meant to him and Mary. It was just smoke in the eyes, I swear. 

Then I drove up to St. Mary's Cemetery. It is now immortalized.

Gone is the taped over piece of paper that read Parker/Cornelison. In it's place is the official inscription.

Am I the only one who is freaked out by my name being in a Catholic cemetery?

And Jackie. I wish I had known you.