4:00AM – I lie flat on my back in bed.

My pain pill has worn off. There is another pain pill setting on my dresser. All I need to do is sit up in bed, throw my legs over the edge, pop out of bed, take the couple of steps to the dresser, throw the pill in my mouth, swallow and a short time later there will be partial relief.

It isn’t rocket science. As Nike would say, “Just do it’”, and but for that first step, I would be happy to do it. But that first step, sitting up in bed, is painful. Very painful. Lying in bed and thinking about it in no way will lessen the pain of action. I would pretend I am weighing the pros and cons, but there are no pros and cons, it is strictly a “has got to happen”.

After a 20 minute conversation in my brain, I sit up. Yes, it still hurts, but at least I know I have explored all options. Who am I kidding, there are no options. Tomorrow morning I will lie in bed and have the same conversation. Verges on crazy, don’t you think?