I really meant to go to Meghan and Harry’s wedding. I really
did. I had my invitation in my hand then I spilled coffee on myself. What a surprise! By the
time I ran to the store and bought new clothes, I was too late. The doors
were closed.
First, I would like to offer my sincerest apologies to
Meghan and Harry. I know that you thought it imperative that I attend you
wedding. I tried, I really tried. And to the American ambassador to Britain and
to UK’s ambassador to the USA; I am sorry. I know I have put you in a hard
spot. Please do all you can to avoid a nuclear war. Your job was tough enough
without me adding additional stress on the UK/USA relationship.
Okay, I’m going to wrap myself in tin foil and go to the
basement. Just in case the ambassadors can’t keep the peace.
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