Notes on aging:

 #1 – Prepare to spend all your spare cash on reading glasses that wander off into the night.

#2 – Expect aches and pains in all sorts of parts of your body you didn’t even know existed.

#3 – Don’t expect GPS to help you find your way out of a parking lot. (You’ll just piss it off and it will stop working. Yes, this a life lesson I have learned the hard way.)

#4 – Sometimes the body just demands a day off. There is nothing you can do to stop it; a general strike has been called by the working forces. Go with the flow and take a nap.

#5 – Your coolness level has flatlined. You used to be at least semi-hip, but those days are long gone, and they ain’t coming back. Get over it.

#6 – Remember how you were taught to always respect your elder; “Sir” or "Ma’am” were the titles of choice. How many times have people referred to you by either of those two terms recently? And isn’t it annoying?

#7 - DO NOT LOOK IN THE MIRROR! Your glory days are over.

#8 – In reference to #1: by the time you spot the cheaters, you will have forgotten what you were looking for. You won’t have a clue what you wanted to do with whatever it was you were looking for. You will have wasted 30 minutes of your life. Then the next time you’re at the store you will by three more pairs and lose the bag they were in.