Yesterday's post was unfortunate.

 I don't always think things through. I get emotional and think the worst. Change can be fearsome. Especially when there are new limitations.

But the truth is, there is little I can't do now that I could before, Save typing, of course. And I'm not sure about masterbating; that will be saved for later determination.

But psychologically there is a toll. You all know the limp-wristed faggot jokes. Well that is totally me now. And I remember in grade school "Spaz" was the put-down du jour. And now as I feel the spasm twitching through my hand, I regret ever using the term.

I am made more humble.

The harrowing tales of reality.

Reality is not my friend.

It is hard when something you loved is hard to do; physically and mentally.

I affear my depression is worsening. Not to worry, I am not suicidal or anything like that. I just have problems finding joy. I seldom read the comics anymore. They used to be a source of laughter. But the.

 laughter has quieted.

And physically, typing is now hunt and peck. I had an infection in my lungs. And the antibiotic they gave me came with a stern warning that tendonitis was a side effect.

I have lost all control of my right hand. It has been of minimal value for years, but now it is just a lump at the end of my arm.

What do I do now?