The Ultimate Sibling Trip.

Our planned sibling trip is due to begin in six weeks. When I say “planned”, I over-simplify reality. There are so many plans, that we could each do a different vacation and there would still be leftovers to donate to a thrift store. I give you a brief (and by ‘brief’, I mean ‘as brief as possible’) explanation of the current options on the table.



Plan A: The New Orleans Experience. This one is quite simple. We all fly to New Orleans and spend a few days in southern decadence. Sounds somewhat mundane, but if we get bored we could always start a barroom brawl in Dad’s honor.



Plan B: The Mississippi River Road Trip. We all meet in the Twin Cities and drive to New Orleans, combining a little southern decadence with a mad road trip. It’s quite a bit of driving (1,337 miles), so I doubt we would have time for the rumble at the tavern, but we would experience (in fleeting moments) much Americana.



Plan C1: The Deep South Drive-By. This one could be pretty cool. The sibs all jet- in to Atlanta, rent a car and drive to New Orleans. We could do so many different things: it’s an open canvas. And we’d be pretty much guaranteed to hit five states I’ve never set foot in before; Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana and either Florida or Arkansas. This one is 473 miles.



Plan C2: The ‘Woo-Woo’ Seven States Mac Has Never Been In Before Extravaganza. See plan C1, but as we meet up in Charlotte, North Carolina, it would leave me with only three more states before I’ve hit ‘em all! (Hint for the geographically impaired: you add not only North Carolina, but also South Carolina!) And it is only 713 miles!



Plan C3: The Gulf Coast Holiday Plan: Spring Break on the Redneck Riviera. Fly to Orlando and drive to New Orleans. It’s really just plans C1 and C2 with a distinctive Gulf Coast twist (translation: only four new states) and hopefully thousands of college students who are as much of party animals as us siblings! Rack in 653 miles with this one.



Plan D1: In the Footsteps of the Lincoln-Douglas Debates – Geographical. Seven cities to explore: their museums and historical sites and the awesome parks dedicated in honor of these great historical events in these amazing localities. So much to see and do in Charleston and Freeport and Galesburg and Ottawa and Quincy and Jonesboro and Alton that I’m not really sure how we could squeeze it all in. But in this plan, we do it in a geographically logical order, allowing us more time to explore each trivial, little site. There is the distinct possibility that one of the sibs will start a fight in a bar, hoping to be thrown in jail, avoiding the balance of the trip. I really don’t know how many miles this one would be.



Plan D2: In the Footsteps of the Lincoln-Douglas Debates – Chronological. Okay, we still see the seven sites of the Lincoln-Douglas Debates, but this time we do it in the order that the debates took place. Can’t you just picture us, criss-crossing across the great state of Illinois, singing Lincoln carols, in search of the next Lincoln monument or statue or plaque or log cabin or courthouse he practiced at or memorial or house or … Well, you get the picture. We can even work in a quick stop at the Southern Illinois Hospital for the Insane in Anna, Illinois for a mental hygiene check-up. I have no idea how many miles this one would burn up: it’s about the historical experience, reliving the past. This one can’t be measured in miles. (Like MasterCard always says, “It Ain’t About the Fucking Mileage, It’s About Defining What Is Important to You.)


Decisions must be made, and they must be made soon!