It was long ago and far away.

A poem I wrote in another time and space.

I’ll Never Be a King

Dedicated to Juanita McCracken Cornelison

You brought me into the world
Had the time and patience
And the strength to bear the pain
You fondled and cuddled a useless child
And dreamed on day he’d be a king.
With every diaper you washed
And every bottle you cleaned
You somehow felt your diligence would be rewarded
By the growth of a human being.

Through the traumas of early childhood
The first days of school
The cuts and bruises
Scrapes and burns
You stood undaunted
And picked me up when I fell
For your heart told you
One day that child will be a man
Out in the world
Earning bread and butter
Supporting a family of his own.

The horrors of adolescence
The first date and senior prom
Were as big to you as they were to me
And the pains were just as real
As though the name callers
Were shouting at you, too.

Through eighteen years you’ve been b y my side
With all the composure of a queen
With care and understanding
And with all the joys and all the pains.

I know your dreams
But I’ll never be a king
And probably
There’ll never be a Mrs.
Or little kids to carry on the family name
I know what it is you’re going through
For my dreams have faltered, too
I know only too vivid
The pains of a dying mural
Painted over the real to be

But you see
Though I’ll never be a king,
You’ll always be a queen
For there’s no one more beautiful
Ore deserving of a crown
Than the woman who raised this child.
And I’m sorry for all the pains,
And I’m sorry for the diapers, too
But I’ve got to find out where I’m going
And what its going to lead me to.

If my friends seem a bit brash
Or blatant in their way
Its not that they’re cruel
Or out to change the world
It’s just that they’ve seen their better days
For a city takes a lot out of a Person
Takes the youth, your innocence and even your soul.
And I’d give anything to be a baby cradled in your arms
But, here I am
And I’ve got to face the world

Though its not the life you planned for me
Out on my own without a wife
In fairness to all
It’s the life I’ll lead
But, Mama, I love you still.

I miss you, Mom!