Medical Update.

This is really an age specific post.

For those of you under 40, you’re all going to be, “Like whatever. I saw the life choices the poor old dude made. Ain’t surprised.”

For those of you over 60, it’s going be, “Been there, done that. Poor little bastard has to get better gripes or I’m going to stop visiting this blog.”

Okay, I admit, it is only Carpal Tunnel. When the doctor first told me she thought that is what I had, my first thought was, “Is it near the Tunnel Grand -St-Bernard? This could be really cool?” I was kind of hoping for a geographic specific regimen. Two or Three years in the Swiss Alps and I would be cured.

Sadly, reality is not as much fun. Seems that Carpal Tunnel is not geographically specific and there is no reason to believe that going someplace really neat will cure the syndrome.

So, begrudgingly, I have given a nod to reality. I am seeing the people who give me shock therapy, oops, I mean a Nerve Conduction Study, on April 15th. On April 29th, I will consult with the surgeon, assuming it really is that tunnel that is not in a neat part of the world, and it can be operated on. Everyone seems to think it will be a slam dunk.

And, just so you know, I have not had a cigarette in 23 day, 15 minutes and 41 seconds. I don’t mean to say that I have quit, just that I am an angry smoker who would gladly knock down a little old lady to snag her lit cigarette. The real difference is that a little old lady smoking a cigarette could probably whip my ass, and then I’d be having to explain so many things.

I know, you are all like, “Yawn, heard this before. I think this is number 66 or 67… but there is that hazy decade of the ‘80s.”

Okay, I’m doing it different this time. I’m doing drugs.

Hey, if you can’t find the kitchen, how are you going to find your keys, so how are you going to find the front door, so how are you going to be sure…. You sure ain’t going out for a pack of cigs!

You get the drift.

No, I mean purely legal drugs. And it really does help. I still have moments, but for the most part people don't realize that... Oh, there was that family the other day that I told to "Get out of Dodge", but I think they knew it was time to move on, anyway, I'm kidding, no dead bodies anywhere on the property. Or any adjacent properties, for that matter.