Dieting with Mac

I am painfully aware of the fact that I have put on a couple of pounds over the last few months. However, it should be noted that my belt snapping the other day had nothing to do with my additional girth, but was caused by design flaws and shoddy craftsmanship in the production cycle at the typical belt manufacturer. Even though I am aware it will little affect the inferior quality of belts being produced in the world today, I have put myself on a strict diet.

I have never tried to lose weight before; I’ve always been trying to put on additional pounds. So, I knew this would be tough.

Today was a perfect example of the arduous routine I have laid down for myself. This morning, rather than my traditional three doughnuts for breakfast, I cut back to two. I could just feel the pounds dropping off. However, by 9:15AM I was becoming weak from hunger and unable to concentrate on my duties at work. Thankfully the vending machine outside my office door sells Rice Krispy Treats. Couple of those babes and I was able to hold it together until my 11:30 lunch of a half-pound hamburger and a mountain of fries. Now, don’t you worry one bit. To shave off some calories, I pulled the pickles and tomatoes off the burger. You know, little victories like that can be such morale boosters.

I was feeling good and getting skinny. At 2PM, I rewarded myself for such exemplary behavior with a delightful piece of double-chocolate cake with ice cream and fudge sauce. In keeping with my weight-loss plan, I skipped the whipping cream and sugar sprinkles. Although I definitely was affected by the missing goodies, I still managed to convince myself that it was decadent. Deprivation is tough, but in the long run I will thank myself.

At 4:00PM the whistle blew and I headed for home. Realizing that I had cut back too sharply on my protein intake, I stopped at the local convenience store and grabbed myself a couple of corndogs, hold the mustard. That was a really smart move as it allowed me to keep it together through the cocktail hours after I arrived home and while I waited for Richard to prepare dinner.

Richard cooked up a delightful fair of rabbit food with a vinaigrette sauce of some kind, peas, mashed potatoes and pork chops. My god, the salad was horrific, but I slipped it into the garbage when Richard wasn’t paying attention. And the peas, well here is an interesting aside. You can slide the peas of your plate, and Max will play with them, but he will not eat them. Three helpings of mashed potatoes smothered in butter is more than heaven, it is nirvana. And the meat was okay. Thankfully, keeping with my diet, it was a small portion.

The small protein portion was critical, because I had to save myself for the jumbo sized Snickers bar I had hiding in my coat pocket.

Deprivation makes the infrequent treat just that much more special. As I scarfed down the candy bar in the darkness of my closet, I knew that I had taken my first giant leap to being skinny again.