I feel my vacation coming to a screeching halt.

For the last four or five months, I have been unfettered and alive. Okay, part of that time I was barely alive and if you counted all the tubes and leashes and medical devices I was attached to, “unfettered” may seem an incongruous term, but there wasn’t a moment that passed that I didn’t bask in my leisure and freedom. I felt thrust into the world of trust fund babies and other idle people who didn’t need to work for a living. It was glorious. If I wanted to get drunk by 10AM, I got drunk by 10AM. (OMG, what an amazing idea! I’ll be right back.)

Okay, everyone ignore the clinking of ice in my cocktail glass and let’s get back to the task at hand, and that is preparing me to ease back into the work force; if you don’t feel for me, feel for my unfortunate co-workers. They truly do have to suffer through this with me.

 I have to be on the job at the ungodly hours of 9AM on Monday. I’m not sure how to even begin to prepare for this unfortunate situation.  If only I were born wealthy instead of so damn good looking. I think I will just sit here and lament my dire situation in life.