I tried to do Richard’s taxes today.

 It seems he is due a refund just short of the $250.00 dollar mark, when you add federal and state together.

But, of course there are complications. From the federal side, we weren’t married, from the state of Oregon side, we weren’t domestic partners. Yes, we could have crossed the river and been married in Washington, and yes, we could have settled for second class citizenship in Oregon with domestic partnership. We vetoed both ideas as settling for less than equality. We thought of them as admitting that we weren’t as good as straight people. And now I’m not sure they will pay it out to the checking account Richard and I have shared for 17 years now. Do they have no way to check history?

And because I have no status, even though Richard’s name is still on the bank account, the refund may go unclaimed.

It is a small price to pay for marriage equality.

I am glad that this is the last time I will have to agonize over Richard’s taxes.

But it won’t be the last time I agonize over my loss.