Max used to speak of the DDDs.
I didn’t believe his prattle. He was a cat after all. All
cats think all dogs are the devil incarnate. But then, he did get along with
Ralph and Trixie quite well. And he was the second cousin once removed of the
devil; he knew things that were dark secrets, unknown to the rest of creation.
Anyway, Max spoke of these evil beasts. Fiends that lived in
the bushes and terrorized neighborhoods. The DDDs.
They would do all the normal neighborhood dog crap: knock
over the garbage cans, sully the sidewalks, trample through the gardens and rip
up plants. But they were more sinister. If you had a favorite wild animal, they
would leave the corps at your door. They had the ability to scorch the earth.
They are even capable of giving you memory loss. And they hate friendly cats.
(Don’t worry Billie Jean and Duchess are safe. I worry for César
and Augustus more.) The DDDs are evil, evil creatures.
So, I gave Satan a call. After an friendly interrogation by his assistant, I was
suddenly speaking with him. I told him how much I missed Max and hoped he would
give him a snuggle for me. (Max was in solitary confinement at the time for his
foul language.) I told the devil the situation.
He turned to his computer. A few taps and he turned back to me.
“I am so sorry, I do have DDDs in your neighborhood. I must
have an old address of yours. I will call them off immediately.”
We chatted for a while and said good-bye. I updated my
personal information with him and all was good!
The neighborhood has been saved!
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