New Years Day in the Upper Hood River Valley

We knew we weren’t going to lose television in one catastrophic event. We knew there would be no cold-turkey day of reckoning. At 9AM this morning, we had virtually every channel of television entertainment that we had 24 hours earlier. At 10AM, we lost about a third of our channels. We have been told that the local (read: free) channels out of Portland could actually hang on until… well, until some technician gets his or her ass up to the communal satellite dish and unplugs the system. And rumor has it that said technician is in no great hurry. The other channels will quietly go into the night as someone at corporate headquarters realizes that Valley TV Co-op is in arrears.

This, of course, is a natural segue into my new year’s resolutions.

#1. I will watch less TV in 2009 than I watched in 2008.

Considering the relatively small amount of TV I watched in 2008, this would be a tough resolution, but for the circumstances, here-to-for called reality, under which Richard and now live. With the dissolution of Valley TV Co-op, this one should be a cakewalk.

#2. Every day in 2009, I will do something I have never done before.

This is a resolution I stole from someone else’s blog. I would give credit where credit due, but I have no friggin’ clue where (or from whom) I stole it. (It was their 2008 resolution – I ran into it a while ago.) Now this is truly an electrifying concept. Something new every day! Wow! But the reality of it is quite daunting. Here it is, day one, and I’m already having troubles coming up with something to do. (The first person who mentions cleaning out the refrigerator gets slapped. Besides, I have distinct memories of cleaning out the icebox before. Admittedly, it was at my apartment in North Bend in 1978, but that technicality is unimportant.)

So, while I am thinking of what to do today, that I have never done before, I will catch you up on the Pet-of-the-Quarter program. At the last moment, Richard nominated his car. We argued, rather hot and heavy, about whether a car qualified as Pet-of-the-Quarter. Richard was adamant that if his car wasn’t eligible, neither was Maxine. We cursed and shouted and ranted and raved. Ralph, realizing he could lose to a vehicle and generally annoyed at both of us, threw open the door, ran outside and peed on the car. Spike, seeing the open portal and sensing freedom, hit 90mph on his way out. Max, who is not quite so quick, only made it outside because I slipped on the kitchen floor, grabbing the cloth off the kitchen table on my way down. That’s really all you need to know about that whole unfortunate portion of the story. Anyway, I caught both the cats, as they were frozen on the front porch, mortified by the snow on the ground and the falling rain. Trixie, meanwhile, was rolling on the bed laughing. So, long/short, we have suspended the Pet-of-the-Quarter program until further notice.

Okay, I did something I have never done before. I trimmed my moustache back to the same length as my goatee/beard (basic stubble). I may never do this again, but I am… well, frankly, I look twenty years younger. Okay, I don’t. I’ll take a picture of me tomorrow.

I’m going to need some help coming up with ideas for the next 364 days.