Sammy, Sammy, Sammy

Portland’s mayor, Sam Adams has gotten himself in trouble for lying about an affair he had with an 18 year old man in 2005.

Sam Adams is unapologetically gay, so the brouhaha is not regarding the gender of his liaison, Beau Breedlove, but the circumstances and the denial. First, when Sam met Beau, Sam was 42 and Beau was 17. The official story is that Sam kept it in his pants until Beau’s 18th birthday. Then there was the inconvenient detail that Beau was an legislative intern in Portland and Sam was a Portland city councilman. I've read that there wasn't a direct line of supervisory responsibility between the two, but there is still a taint of murky, moral dilemma. They called it mentoring. And then there was the blatant denial during Sam’s campaign for mayor.

Okay, I am in no position to pass judgment on the two. Without pictures showing full frontal (and backal) nudity, there is no way that I can comment on the appropriateness of said relationship. There is just no way to know if it was right, wrong or totally indifferent without fully examining all evidence. And I do not have all the evidence. So I just have to imagine.

But Sam lied. I think that shows a lack common sense. If I had a date with an attractive 18 year-old, I promise you I would not deny it. I would be shouting it from the rafters; boasting and bragging from coast-to-coast. I’d have a grin the size of Texas. (Richard, you might want to just ignore this paragraph.) I would be turning cartwheels down the hallway and strutting like a stud. I would be in hog heaven. In my wildest fantasies I … hang on, in my wildest fantasies, he is older, less attractive and has some real annoying habits. I guess I need to get better wildest fantasies.

Anyway, back to... forget Sam and Beau, I’m gonna go work on my wildest fantasies!