Tommy

He's a keeper. I love holding paws.

This is so last year!

I have an appointment with my radiologist, Dr. Seung, next Tuesday in Portland. (Aren’t you jealous, I have my own radiologist?)

Don’t be!

Dr. Seung treated me last time around. I really like him, but he is in Portland. There is no radiation therapy available in Hood River. The Dalles does have a radiation center, but it is an entirely different system, and I hate to give up the care that I have found so comforting over the last three years. And The Dalles is closer, but it is still 35 minutes away.

For those of you whom I haven’t told already, the cancer has metastasized to my adrenal gland. Well, technically it is a mass on top of my adrenal gland, not inside it, but inseparable at this point. Yee haw, another round!

At this point, I am not sure what my treatment choices are, my oncologist and I have discussed surgery and radiation. I’m not sure if that means chemo is ineffective, or maybe I just didn’t ask the right questions. I know Dr. Sanborn is on the radiation side of the equation, but I want all my options.

This is totally unrelated to the spinal stenosis.

I am falling apart, with haste.

I’m not sure where I am going with this. I have read the statistics. 4% of cancer patients in my situation are still alive five years after diagnosis. I know I am facing death in the face. I’ve said this before and I say it again, “Death ain’t sexy!” And I am ready to prove it!

My emotions are running the gamut. Sometimes I am cerebral and calm. Other times I am scared. And other times I regret what I am putting other people through. I can’t imagine losing one of my sisters, and now they will lose their baby brother. (Okay sisters, put down the champagne flutes! Totally inappropriate timing!) And once again I am letting down my co-workers. And other times I remember Richard and what he went through.

And my cats; who in their right mind would take Max? Tom will be easy to pan off on to someone, but who in their right mind would take Max?

Umm… time to start the campaign.

Max is so sweet. He is so lovable. He has a really soft coat of fur. And he purrs really loud and easily.

I do plan to keep this blog going as long as possible. Maybe someone can learn from it.

Oregon 61, Arizona State 55

Yesterday wasn't all bad news!

And I wait.

It has been a full week. Two calls to the doctor’s office, no response.

So I wait. They have to know my expectations hang in the balance. With each passing day, I get wearier. My hopes diminish.

Freaked? No, not me. You all know I am way too well balanced for that shit.

3:49 AM

I am awoken by Max screaming, “Timmy’s fallen in the well!!! Timmy’s fallen in the well!!!

Well, not knowing anyone known Timmy and not having any clue where the nearest well is, I did what any old man would do. I teetered off to the bathroom and peed.

It was in the bathroom that I found the crisis! You could see the bottom of the food bowl. I shook the bowl rearranging the kibble so all you could see was cat chow. Nuclear war avoided.

You’re welcome, world.

Good News!

Some of you may remember my earlier rant against Martin Scumbag, I mean Martin Scrotum-needs-busting, I mean Martin the-total-fucking-asshole, who raised the price of Daraprim, a pill that fights Toxoplasmosis from $13.50 to $750.00 per pill.

Well, a rival company is offering an equivalent generic pill at $1.00 each. My prayers have been answered! (I am speaking metaphysically.) Martin Shkreli will probably not go bankrupt over his investment, but if we, as a people watch him, and predatory animals like him close enough, we can’t do the world a lot of good!

Everyone stand and chant, “Shkreli Sucks!!! Shkreli Sucks!!! Shkreli Sucks!!! Shkreli Sucks!!!.” Louder now! “SHKRELI SUCKS!!! SHKRELI SUCKS!!! SHKRELI SUCKS!!! SHKRELI SUCKS!!!”

There is little that makes me happy these days, but this one does!

A beautiful day in Portland, Oregon

At 8:30AM, I left my room at Providence Guest Housing and took the 2 block walk to Providence Portland Medical Center. I gave myself half an hour to get there, just in case. It may be only two blocks to PPMC, but it is another two blocks through the hospital to the Short Stay Admitting desk. I was there at 8:40AM. Pretty damn proud of myself!

A short time later and I was in my stylish hospital gown.

Does anyone question why my nurse screamed, “Pull the plug” and ran out of the room?

I kid, MyAnh was great. So were Dr. Vegas, Daniel and Princess Awesome Amanda down in the procedure room. No one even hinted at euthanasia. The biopsied their big hearts out!

Eventually, they let me go, but not on my own volition. A CNA, who has a name that is now escaping me, wheeled me back to my building. I am reminded why Richard liked it here so much and why, while I can’t really say I like it, I am amazed at everyone’s kindness.

Both ways I passed Richard’s old apartment. I successfully fought back the tears. Maybe time does heal all wounds. I did lose it briefly when they made me take off my ring.

After all was said and done, I took a short walk. Beautiful day! And the new housing is spectacular.

I am home.

I know I am. I can hear Tom in the bathroom hawking up something that I would rather not think about while Max is upstairs screaming like a banshee. Yes, I will soon go into the bathroom and clean up another mess and Max will soon come down from upstairs and scream like a banshee right beside my ear. This is the paradise you always read about.

Surely you know I jest. It is great to be home with the cats. I spent hours yesterday being granted the privilege of petting every square inch of their bodies. It was such an honor.

Oh, and I lied. Tom didn’t ralph in the bathroom. I have no idea where he tossed his cookies, but it wasn’t in the bathroom. Don’t worry, I’ll find it in the middle of the night with my bare feet.

Made it to the gate!

All my planning was for naught! My parking lot was closed. The shuttle was cheek to jowl. Delta's machine sent me to SkyWest to check-in. My second lap through the ticketing lobby, I stopped at United and asked where the SkyWest counter was. The woman was very nice, but it turns out SkyWest doesn't have a counter at PDX.  But she kindly looked it up for me. I wanted Alaska Airlines.

In the security check line the guy behind me whacked me with his skate board. (It was accident, he apologized profusely.)

But I made it to the gate. I am almost on my way to Santa Babs!!

Off to Santa Babs!

For a week of fun in the sun. Okay, almost a week of fun in the sun.

Oh, and Alex and Anne's wedding!

Summer is officially over.

I turned on the heat in the house. It is amazing. I am home, the sun has set and I’m not freezing my tits off. 

What a difference the flip of a switch can make.

October 1, 2015

It is a beautiful day in the Hood River Valley. Our current temperature in the Upper Valley is 78°. Damn near perfect in my book.

And today, recreational marijuana goes on sale in Oregon. Yee haw, life is good.

But all of that takes a sour note when you hear of the people killed at Umqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon.

I have no direct connection to Umpqua CC. Yes, I attended Southwestern Oregon CC 60 miles west of Umpqua and the University of Oregon, 80 miles north. I loved a man for 16 years who taught at Columbia Gorge CC. (Who am I fooling, I still love a man who taught at CGCC), but it is all still theoretical to me.

Still, this tragedy hits closer to home than I care to admit. Oregon has had more than its share of school shootings: Thurston High School, Rosemary Anderson High School, Reynolds High and now Umpqua. How can you make sense of it all?

My thoughts go out to all those killed and their families and friends (current count is 13 dead… not sure if that includes the shooter) and to those injured and their families and friends (current count is 20) and to everyone traumatized by this senseless act.

We must do something, but I don’t know what.

Please, a moment of silence in support of the people of Roseburg. It’s a fairly small town (20,000 people). I imagine most are touched in some way, most, more personally than me.