This is so last year!

I have an appointment with my radiologist, Dr. Seung, next Tuesday in Portland. (Aren’t you jealous, I have my own radiologist?)

Don’t be!

Dr. Seung treated me last time around. I really like him, but he is in Portland. There is no radiation therapy available in Hood River. The Dalles does have a radiation center, but it is an entirely different system, and I hate to give up the care that I have found so comforting over the last three years. And The Dalles is closer, but it is still 35 minutes away.

For those of you whom I haven’t told already, the cancer has metastasized to my adrenal gland. Well, technically it is a mass on top of my adrenal gland, not inside it, but inseparable at this point. Yee haw, another round!

At this point, I am not sure what my treatment choices are, my oncologist and I have discussed surgery and radiation. I’m not sure if that means chemo is ineffective, or maybe I just didn’t ask the right questions. I know Dr. Sanborn is on the radiation side of the equation, but I want all my options.

This is totally unrelated to the spinal stenosis.

I am falling apart, with haste.

I’m not sure where I am going with this. I have read the statistics. 4% of cancer patients in my situation are still alive five years after diagnosis. I know I am facing death in the face. I’ve said this before and I say it again, “Death ain’t sexy!” And I am ready to prove it!

My emotions are running the gamut. Sometimes I am cerebral and calm. Other times I am scared. And other times I regret what I am putting other people through. I can’t imagine losing one of my sisters, and now they will lose their baby brother. (Okay sisters, put down the champagne flutes! Totally inappropriate timing!) And once again I am letting down my co-workers. And other times I remember Richard and what he went through.

And my cats; who in their right mind would take Max? Tom will be easy to pan off on to someone, but who in their right mind would take Max?

Umm… time to start the campaign.

Max is so sweet. He is so lovable. He has a really soft coat of fur. And he purrs really loud and easily.

I do plan to keep this blog going as long as possible. Maybe someone can learn from it.