Lacking the Wisdom of Solomon

I turn to Tom for advice.

I went in today to be mapped for radiation. Have a totally cool body mold and 7 (yes, count them, 7) totally butch tattoos! I am so friggin macho I can’t stand it. I am the totally awesome dude your mother warned you about.  Babe magnet: that is me. (And that part is kind of annoying.)

Anyway, after the mapping extravaganza, Karla and I went to Powell’s Books and I sold a bunch of Richard’s esoteric book collection. Had to beat the chicks off with a rolled newspaper, but I made some money. It was pretty cool in my book.

From there we drove almost directly to Costco. Come on folks, I haven’t been there in 20 years and what is the difference between 138^th Street and 148^th Street, other than one doesn’t get you to Costco? One number off and somehow you end up in the wilds of Tanganyika!

So, were strolling through Costco, (and yes, I am having to beat off the enamored women with a stick) when suddenly my phone quacks. (It’s Oregon; it isn’t that odd for a phone to quack.)

It is Dr. Aliabadi, the surgeon who wants to rip out my adrenal gland. She says she heard the dark rumor that I had opted for radiation. She said she respected my decision but wanted to make sure I had all the correct facts. Surgery was successful 80% of the time. That was the per cent that Dr. Seung gave. But she said that radiation was only successful 60% of the time: Dr. Seung said 70%. She also said that she was fairly certain she could do the procedure laparoscopically, meaning only a couple of weeks off from life.

Add to that, Dr. Seung said that radiation would start the week after mapping. Turns out it will start the Monday after Thanksqiving.

Okay, Tom… the question is: are the evolving facts a game changer, or should I stick with Plan A?

He puts his paw and my forehead and sweetly purrs. “Go to bed, dear boy and I will tell you what to do in the morning.”

Okay, I toddle off to bed.