Meet the Bells

A(lexander) G(raham) and Patti La.

Stop groaning; this is funny stuff.

So, I am out at the local nursery, buying plants to make the garden look something like a garden. There are so damn many plants to choose from it can be quite overwhelming. Richard is very removed from the garden, so I thought if I got tomatoes, it might draw him closer. I decided on two cherry tomatoes and two heirloom slicing tomatoes. (Authors note: Good News Gardening in Hood River, OR has over 6 billion different varieties of heirloom slicing tomatoes. Do not try to make a rational decision; just grab and run.) I was checking out the cherry tomatoes, knowing better than to pay attention to varieties, just going for the healthy plants. There were two alone on a flat. They looked healthy. I put them in my little box.

Next thing I know, some snarly woman is in my face. “Are you gonna take the last two of those? Cause them there were s’pose to be mine.”

I admit, I was taken aback, but I stood my ground. “Yes, I do plan to purchase these.”

“Well, fine! Take the last red sweet peppers out of my baby’s mouth. I hope you’re proud of yourself.”

Okay, I look down into my box. Damn, they’re not even cherry tomatoes. But the woman is such a snag. I keep them.

A.G. and Patti La are in a better place.