Dear Alaskans,
I must apologize for thinking of you as bumbling idiots. I am sorry I spread the idea of selling Alaska back to the Russians. I was wrong to think that would serve the Red Empire just desserts.
And I am sorry I said you were cute. No Alaskan is cute. You are stately or mature, beautiful or handsome, but not cute. Mea culpa.
Okay, there is that bit about hating Polar Bears, but, hey, I meant it in the nicest way possible.
How about we just shake hands and call it even?
Come on dudes, big bear hug!
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