I know, I know, I’m a little freaked out by it, too. Some dude in a suit lays in your bed so that it is all toasty when you come to bed. There are a lot of sick and twisted directions I could go with this story, but, as always, I will go the wholesome and mature route.
I’ve got a couple of incredible bed warmers, and they may not know it yet, but they are out there on the job market.
January 23, 2010
Dear Sir or Madam,
Please allow us to introduce ourselves. The large, king-sized bed warmer is Trixie, and the smaller, personal warmer is Max. As a team we are capable of warming more beds per hour that the average Joe. Add to that our natural snuggleability and I’m sure that you will see what a valuable addition we could be to your team at Holiday Inn.
As the foremost in our field, we do expect our compensation package would allow us to maintain the lifestyle to which we have become accustomed. We would expect our generous salary to be deposited directly into our Swiss bank accounts, paid leave, insurance, sick pay, a retirement plan and all the treats we can eat.
Please respond at your earliest convenience.
Your future employees,
Trixie and Max
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