If the early indicators are accurate…

…2010 is going to suck the big one!

Let’s start the decade with freezing rain: not region wide freezing rain, but locality specific freezing rain. Or, as the weatherperson on some Portland channel said, “It’s going to be a pretty good day out there across the entire broadcast area, except for the Upper Hood River Valley, where they are will continue to get freezing rain, apparently until hell freezes over. Face it, if you live in Odell or Parkdale, you’re going to have one absolutely miserable day!”

The camera panned to the incredibly pert and not unattractive anchor. “Those stupid bastards, you’d think they’d learn. Why in hell don’t they move to someplace less hostile?” she said with a plastic grin.

Oh, in case any of you are unaware, freezing rain is slick. Butts of a certain age don’t bounce when they hit the asphalt. They splat.

Okay, so 1/1/10 is going to be one of those inside days. Richard and I bought ourselves a brand-spanking new VCR/DVD player for Christmas. It was time for me to hook it up. Piece of cake, as they say.

Forty-five minutes later, Richard comes into the living room to find me sitting on the floor with seven remotes strewn in front of me. There are enough cables connecting the VCR/DVD to the TV and the satellite box to satisfy even the most hardcore bondage disciple’s fetish. Sadly we no longer had TV reception. There were tears streaming down my cheeks.

Fortunately, Richard was able to re-establish a connection with the XPSISMTARDS satellite system and saved the day. Just in time for…

… me to go blank. The next five hours of the day are blocked from my memory. I can’t explain it. I just know that by evening I had a bitter taste in my mouth and an intense dislike for anything to do with the state of Ohio.

Umm… QUACK, QUACK