I Had a Dream.

(Note: if you are expecting something socially relevant with deep meaning, à la Martin Luther King, Jr., move on. You will be sadly disappointed. For the rest of you, get a bucket of popcorn and read on.)

Much of the dream has, of course, vanished into the night, but I do remember some key highlights and learned some valuable lessons. The basis of the dream was that Richard and I were getting married (again or whatever – as I say, some details are lost.) Speaking of lost, somewhere between our hotel room on Capitol Hill and Alki Beach in West Seattle, where the ceremony and reception was suppose to be held, we took a wrong turn. Richard was driving, I was the navigator and there were hundreds of cars following us. Why is it that the navigator always takes the brunt of the blame when there is a wrong turn? I think the pilot should bear some of the responsibility. But no, Richard was too busy counting the orange traffic cones to notice the “Welcome to Colorado” sign. Everyone was mad at me, and me alone.

Some of the other lessons I ascertained will be very helpful to many of you.

First of all, Jane, that flapper dress you were wearing looked great on you. The 1920’s was definitely your decade. But lose the foot long, solid silver cigarette holder you were flaunting. It’s dangerous (you could put an eye out with that thing) and everyone was wondering exactly what you were smoking.

And Karla, we are all tickled pink that you’ve found a new interest, with great possibilities for future employment, but we just aren’t sure that becoming a licensed GNAT (Genuine Native American Tracker) is the right career move for you. Realistically, after you put your ear to the ground it took you too long to stand back up again for any of the data you gathered to have any real value, (the buffalo herd had moved) and some of your less-kind siblings were making crass comments about your buckskin miniskirt. Frankly, I’m concerned that it borders on racial insensitivity and is fraught with stereotypes.

For all of you, you might want ask some key questions before booking a room at a hotel that you aren’t familiar with. “Do you have any problems with packs of wild dogs wandering the halls?” is a question I will always ask in the future. And you might want to determine, in advance, if you need to bring your own light bulbs. And lamps. And electric generator.

Oh, and if you are planning to get married at “Wendy’s Wild World of Weddings” in Colorado Springs, CO, I would strongly suggest that you make reservations first, or you may end up in the employee break room with a security guard reciting the Gettysburg Address. (On the bright side, he was wearing a snazzy uniform and he had a gun, so he kept the ceremony organized and moved it along at a crisp tempo!)

Another key point: we don’t have a cousin Constance who is married to Guido, the owner of ‘Guido’s Fine Cement Overshoes’ down on the waterfront. But don’t argue with them. If they want Coney Dogs, get them Coney Dogs.

But really, everyone had a grand time. I think I’ll go into wedding planning when (and if) I grow up!