This morning, I just had coffee.

Even though the mug was from one of my favorite places, I felt no desire to travel. It’s not that I felt somber or depressed. It was more that I was focused on the day. I didn’t want to go backwards.

I made it to my 11:15AM appointment with perfect timing. I had just finished completing the paperwork as they called my name. My weight was up (even more than the weight of my sandals and jeans) and my blood pressure was low. (By low, I mean good!)

Dr. Sanborn was great. It was good to see her again. She is just a warm, compassionate woman who I enjoy talking with; even when I don’t enjoy the subject we are talking about. I swear there were times when she got misty-eyed when we talked about Richard. She seems to have truly enjoyed Richard.

But enough about Richard and the doctor, this is all about me.

I will start chemo and radiation, if all current hypothesis hold to be true, on July 7^th. My chemo treatment will be the same as Richards (or so damn close to the same that it would take a trained professional to tell the difference.) The radiation is still up in the air until I consult with an oncologically-inclined radiation-type person (which happens at 2:30PM on Friday.) I am guessing the 7^th as my start date, as my chemo has to run Monday through Friday and the radiation has to start on the same Monday as the chemo, and I still have to get my tattoos! And Friday is just a consultation. So, do the math. It all works out.

I am losing strength in my right hand. I couldn’t clip the nails on my left hand this morning. Sunday, I realized I had to switch hands to fold my socks. It is a bazaar turn of event… my left hand is more useful than my right.