I have lost another level of virginity.

I will never again have my first CT scan. 

I’ve been deflowered but a huge donut in the lower level of Providence Hood River Memorial Hospital. Oh, and trust me, after a horrid four hour fast spanning some of my prime grazing times, the donut shape was noted. It was noted with a great amount of interest. However, it is not true that I tried to take a bite out of it. Where do rumors like that get started?

I know nothing now that I didn’t know this morning. That isn’t true. I know why they took the “A” out of a CAT scan. But I am sworn to secrecy. I don’t want to get my CT scan artist in trouble with the authorities. Apparently information like that is on a need to know basis. Just remember, that is another tidbit of information that I know and you don’t. But I will never hold it over your head.

The CT scan was quick and moderately interesting, but truthfully, I would have rather been at Gulfoss. Or a few thousand other places besides the lower level of PHRMH. My CT scan artist was great. She was the first medical practitioner I’d spoken to in a week that didn’t give off airs of pending death. She even let me see my CT scan, which is probably against the rules, but it gave me hope. I didn’t see any huge masses. I also have no clue what I was looking at. But, I feel oddly buoyed.