Total transformation!

I went to Portland a meek and mild mannered, upper-edge of middle-aged gentleman.

I came home a tattooed stud! Yeah, you know it. The type guy your mother warned you about. The one you were told to steer clear of. The one who is nothing but trouble, and I mean bad trouble.

Next step is to get me a Harley. I’ll just look up on the internet for the closest dealership and I’ll be there tomorrow. That step is a breeze.

But now, deciding which biker gang to join is a tougher decision. I checked online are there are more gangs than you can shake a stick at.

Are the Hells Angels still the dominate gang? And do I want to join an established behemoth of a club, or an upstart group with a smaller, more intimate membership?

I really would prefer not to have to sell heroin at the street corner to middle school aged kids. So I’m kind of trying to stay away from those kinds of gangs. It’s just that I find sales kind of sleazy and demeaning. I have no problem with the barroom brawls and the turf wars, just don’t make me do sales. It will send me over the edge.

I’m hoping I can find a society, that when all the fighting and vile, horrific devoirs are complete, every one comes back to the clubhouse for a spaghetti feed and to play some pinochle.

So, if anyone has any leads on such a gang, let me know!

VROOM! VROOM!